The thought that when I’m no longer 
Flesh - I’ll see all my words spread out 
In the abyss - like atoms or stars or just balloons 
Scattered across the space of time and I 
Can with my metaphysical finger point 
Oh yes - that was when I was at my saddest 
My most lonely
My most loved 
I organize in categories 
Beloveds: i, ii, iii, iiii, iv, v, vi,vii ….how many will 
There be 
Or can there be only I 
Perhaps that’s it - all poems scatter, a random pattern 
Love - past, present, future - a sliver of light unknown 
Till sparred