dielectric breakdown

so much space

so much needed 

space to really 

know we knew 

what the hell 

we didn't want 

to face. it's slow 

i apologize for 

how slow i've 

become - part 

has known for 

ages. part still 

holds on - still 

i try to pry that 

part away. yet 

it holds. so i've 

stop the trying 

stop the prying 

it is what it is 

and i will see 

when i see - no sooner 

fulgurites

the last 24 hours have been a blur

one city  - two cities - three fish 

sand in and sand out - a sunset btwn blades 

a sunrise i forgot to wake for - it all 

splinters down - we slowed time 

down for a day: even though i still worked a bit 

for me and my friend. how days come

                           upon us and leave - i want to write 

i really do. it irks me to not but what else is there to say 

friend - no friend - sand is what we had 

and there is very little that can be built on 

it that stays - yet i have read that sometimes lightning 

hits - and sand becomes art - a vessel used 

for flowers or lights or for whatever is fathomed 

in realms of silence 

kinematics

so thinking back

is an easy thing 

this done wrong 

that done right 

left is go right is stop 

as long as there is no crash 

the insurance won't kick in 

still i don't remember how it came to pass 

that i became the one to drive from here to there 

the way to the beach was all me 

the way back i sat back and felt my life escape 

as my little girl took the wheel 

she drove well thinking back 

even as her brother yelled and scripted 

and my mom slept and i sat still, so still 

if she tried she could've heard my heart 

yes, thinking back is an easy thing to do 

sitting back 

enjoying 

not so 

fast 

Tortoise

Dear friend 

Dearest of dear friend - whose existence is now 

A mere memory - a triangulation of how I was 

I passed the ihop where I told you I caused death 

You passed the syrup - and never hated me - it was 

Very dainty of you to pass your clean napkin - and

The shrug - the short smooth shrug that said it all 

I passed the apartment where we met and gave money 

So we could play pretend and drink and then go dance

How many clubs - how may men did I wander off with 

How many times you waited and pulled me back: held 

My hair and listened 

Just listened - how you sat at the table as I floundered 

Around on what was not the most joyous moment of life 

How my dress fit in your car - and we drove around 

One word from my lips: we could have gone anywhere 

Instead you dropped me off 

Fluffed my dress: delivered me inside: a marshmallow 

Ready to prance and cut cake and take endless pictures 

My dear friend 

My dearest of friend as you rest or swim in the deepest 

Oceans - your shell hardened - dream in blues and greens

 

I will be there 

Such shades

          Match 

your milky white skin - and that small shrug when the world gives the hardest hits - a tilt of the head, a smile 

And it all becomes 

Monarch

As our mutual performance agreement has come to an end 

I seek a critique - an evaluation - perhaps a highlight reel 

Yes, this is what I seek - information to use to tighten my 

Performance - enough so - so that i won’t ever fall apart 

Perhaps I meant - it won’t ever fall apart - the personae 

Carefully crafted to minorily mirror mundane - yes this 

Is what I seek - others may seek closure - growth - not I 

I seek evaluation - critique - notes of depth and costume 

I always thought that had my costuming been better  - 

We may have lasted longer - it was hard though with 

The covering of shit and all 

Next life - I’ll stick with costumes that resemble helplessness - seems to be the vogue for knights 

In semi shining armor 

The silver in my hair as i reevaluate each persona  

Strangely guides me to my ultimate role - a role 

Where I share first my self then mold the shape  

After all - after three years and countless nights across 

Concrete walls - there’s very little left unknown but 

this abyss 

- the story of my life 

The Space Btwn The Word

Is creation. 

I’ve awaken just 

Enough to come 

To grasp with this 

Thought - this tic 

For tac - this is price 

Paid for all the reading 

All the searching under 

Rocks and asking that very question 

Why - we know the how 

Man and woman meet 

Discuss laugh wink - all great fun 

All unnecessary banter 

To be smart enough to end up horizontal 

Although sometimes vertical is nice too 

It’s quite chilling being able to stop 

See it for what it is and what it is not 

The space btwn the word

Terra

Btwn what is 

right and being 

right - can I be 

right may be just 

one time - noble 

man before time 

warrior of our day 

ruler of a home - many harvests away