the violation of thermal dynamics

            and you'll say i never loved you

and i'll say - i love you. i love you now 

                                                                    why 

    i ask myself - 

        each moment i let a thought in  

            a whisper, a whisp, a glance - it all ends with 

i knew you once, i know you now, and when 

it all ends - i will know you again. 

                                                        so i'll see 

you when i see you - a mechanism in perpetual 

        motion 

As humans we have to stop - there is an eventual end to - us 

    for if not we will go mad - the heat will numb us, the rain 

    will drop and we will smile of that one moment in mexico 

    the cold will remind you that i cannot exist in such temperatures 

    i am after all made for dancing and for the other things you 

need

Joy for Free*

This month is over - and I survived it 

For a moment there I felt I would falter 

I was angry - the disappointing - stung 

And that was what it was meant to do 

And it did - and it will for a while - yet 

It’s just another thing I survived -  and it 

Gave me strength - the strength that comes 

To someone who has suffered  much worse 

So bring it - 

And then leave it - be safe - that’s all we can 

Hope - and someday many years from now 

I’ll smile and think how sad - how such a slight 

Hurt so much 

* Joy for Free: Cole Adams and Paul Niehaus IV

6.14 aka a new kernel

In honor of your bday

I bought myself a blazer

 

It’s feminine enough

In my favorite of color

Embroidered Black -

                            I’ll wear it 

              And think 

of you 

              I’m kind 

                      

                             like that - I hope 

it doesn’t disappoint 

Gen X

This little box keeps me so entertained 

It’s stuck to my hand - it’s my work, my

Solace - sleeps by my head - in trance 

It even has me an - I - how diabolical 

And glorious - it is more real than friends 

Who reach out thru the little rose gold 

Box -  wrapped in careful leather that holds 

My life - the necessary plastic we are told 

Makes us: license, a debit and credit card 

To legitimatize our existence - and makes 

Buying coffee ok - my daughter is younger 

She carries no plastic - just a pale blue box 

In her back pocket 

Mulberry Tree

I deeply believe my words are being pilfered 

I have no evidence to substantiate this claim 

Yet 

     Words 

             Thoughts 

                       Disappoint 

                               What a fun word 

How can it - it’s a wedge to the ocean 

Striking against the Damm - this abyss 

Created by those who rarely recognize 

A difference in tears and an ocean current

It matters as much as I let it - so I say take each word 

Become cognizant and suffer 

F* cancer

Puppies shouldn’t get cancer

That’s the bottom line - no this 

Or that for pups and kittens 

Just love - the patient kind with pets 

And play and hugs and whispers 

Heard between grief - like he’s leaving 

Again and this time pup you will 

Stay with me 

location, location, location

Perhaps the reason I can’t buy a house 

Is because I don’t want it here - here has 

Let me down - here has felt like muck 

It’s all mucked up - the loosing you the you 

Back again and again - and I never wanted 

To be here 

The mountains, the prairies - 

The sky that extends into the ocean 

It all feels so daunting to escape 

Yet it all feels so muggy here besides the tumble weeds 

Perhaps now knowing 

You’ll be gone and won’t ever return, ever 

I’ll find my escape amongst the creeks of Colorado 

Or the sea of the Carolinas - or the hills of New Mexico