embargo

i am avoiding the inevitable

the moment we all have to 

face - the moment a year swarms in 

and the ridicule of the past year

empties its coffers. so instead 

i type to empty thoughts - there 

are so many - words - i kept in pause 

it is nice to clear them out - still 

today i do because it delays the truth 

i made too much to have so little. 

pantomime

I never knew I would miss you so much

Being dead has taken its toll - I still hv 

Your last texts - and your first - how silly 

It all is - I could never really accept you 

and you knew that - and i knew that and 

that is why we met every other month - 

why you married someone more broken 

than me - why i - when i opened the door 

to my x husband the fear ran through me 

it was a moment of green lingerie - we never 

spoke of it: never will. a youthful indiscretion 

i took too seriously - it was fear simple fear 

of years of programming. he hid it too 

well - the only man in my youth i had 

had he been free - as all jazz should be 

he would have resonated your beauty 

had i been stronger - more open: i may 

have saved you - and we could be having 

lunch today 

but today it is raining 

how do the extremely intelligent spend their time

 how we spend our time 

        this is the question on the table

        mostly in sleep - where we can still see you 

        staunch - unmoveable - whispered about 

    

the other times - in conflict - paid conflict 

our job simple - undue the knots - so many 

often we just let them rot - time does that - then the strings 

fall apart and all that is left is a fine, a few days 

an order typed: then done - magic 

our magic - the ability to sleep and live and help along the way 

   

 and on a certain day - when the sky is gray - pay the tax owed 

swift encounters

Life is too short 

                        to stay

In a state of 

    Disgruntlement 

        Distrust

            Disgust

                Disenchantment 

I, after all, was raised by Disney 

And all its princesses 

    Before any got rescued 

So I combed my long hair 

        Cleaned and swept 

            Wished into the night sky 

Like all were taught 

Before the railroad 

crashed - before engineers 

To attorneys everywhere - the crap we read and hear

It’s all so exhausting

When will I’ll unknot

Myself - yesterday or 

Today - I can’t really 

Recall now adays - a 

Colleague of mine and I 

Laughed - he had gotten 

A call - the voice on the other side 

Unworldly - demon like: he said 

And I joked: 

         the demon was probably

                      demanding your soul

Little did the demon know we don’t have one 

We had to shelf it 

When we passed the bar 

resurrection

it is your busy season

with the death and rise 

and the various easter 

bunny festivities: i pray 

the discovery of a greater 

universe has reached you 

one that includes 

instead of dashes the strange 

against the very sea God willed

into existence - by his very voice 

it was a whisper really filled 

with hope 

one day each creature will walk 

onto the land - an equal to every being

the reason for the sunday sermon 

to stay short - christ has risen - to meet all

dielectric breakdown

so much space

so much needed 

space to really 

know we knew 

what the hell 

we didn't want 

to face. it's slow 

i apologize for 

how slow i've 

become - part 

has known for 

ages. part still 

holds on - still 

i try to pry that 

part away. yet 

it holds. so i've 

stop the trying 

stop the prying 

it is what it is 

and i will see 

when i see - no sooner